o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
