Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
