Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Randomize
