even my farts smell like vagina
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
