I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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