I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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