i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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