Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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