You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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