wat bout pragnant strippers??
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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