When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
