You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
