This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
They have beer where we have blood.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
