My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
