we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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