there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I FOUND THE LEGS
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
