yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
