Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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