the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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