ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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