it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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