Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
