even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i came on her dog
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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