just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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