id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize
