I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
