these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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