I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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