The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
