I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
