do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We have started to decorate penises.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
