a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
OPIZZABONMYDICK
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
