Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
