i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
