I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
