Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
