so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
