No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
