The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
