You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
