shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
