My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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