so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
