i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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