I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
