They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
