I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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