there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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