Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
