I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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